THE FRIEND$HIP DETECTOR

I was never one of those “know it all girls” that would just correct a word for one of my friends or almost recite the entire concept of a difficult word in primary school, however, I must say that I was able to understand by the age of 5 what a friend was, and I have always been certain that it is NOT a bank account.

At the age of 25 I have realized that not everybody understands the difference between these two.

I recently discovered that some people have what I have called: “a friend$hip detector” They use this sensor to determine if the candidate has enough economic value as to be one of their friend$.

You can tell once they have passed the test because their comments will sound something like this:

“I just came back from lunch with Susan, she is the (insert fancy title) at (insert fancy workplace) we went to (insert fancy restaurant) I did not have to pay for anything. She is the best”

“George is the best of friends. He just bought us a trip to (insert fancy place)”

You can also tell when a candidate failed the friend$hip detector. It often results in comments such as:

“He is just so creepy. Did you see his cheap jacket?”

“Did you see his old car? And he expected me to accept his ride home”

Making friends is today (for these people) is a synonym of gold digging. It is no longer the personality what they want to explore but the possessions.

People with Friend$ip Detectors don’t talk about the human qualities of their so called friends but about the quality of the wallets they own.

As far as I am concerned, I still prefer this concept:

“The proper office of a friend is to side with you when you are in the wrong. Nearly anybody will side with you when you are in the right.”  Mark Twain

I don’t think a bank account can do this for anyone yet…

Our principles

A big part of what we are is what we believe in.
What we believe is important because it guides our actions. If we are not sure about what we believe then our actions become inconsistent.
Some time ago my mom and I were talking about how having values and principles are sometimes a disadvantage when it comes to money and status. Having values, believing in something and act based on it creates an imaginary boundary that prevent us from deviating from the path that we have chosen.
For example, if you are not honest, nothing limits you from stealing a co-worker’s idea saying it’s yours. By doing this you may accomplish materialistic goals.
There are fewer limits to those whose actions are not based on values.
On the other hand, if you are honest, loyal and kind, there are several things that you just would not do.
The main argument on our conversation was that even when my dad had been dishonest and disloyal during the time they were married, he was now in a relationship with a well positioned lady, living a life full of luxury and financial balance, while she, the one that had been honest, caring and loyal was now alone and suffering from the consequences of divorce at the age of 57. My mom expected that because of the fact that she had been principle oriented and he had not there should be some kind of reward to her/punishment for him. I agreed. That day, we concluded that perhaps it was better to lack values since people who did not have them had a better quality of life.
After the pain went to a place in my heart that allowed me to go dipper into my thoughts, I realized that the reason why I thought it could be better to lack principles was precisely because I was expecting that so called reward  that would compensate me for being “ good” from outside instead of from within.
The greatest reward in life is being true to our selves. That is what true freedom is about: Acting based on what we believe; even if that means that the consequences won’t be the ones that we expected.
When we are untrue we become slaves. Our beliefs live trapped in our mind making us deaf by the sound of their eternal scream for freedom.